Dream On, Otis Mathis.

Dear Detroit Public School Students,

I am writing to inform you that you are no longer required to put forth any effort. There is no longer a need for anyone to dwell on your weaknesses or encourage you to do better. You will not be expected to strive to improve in any academic areas. After all, Mr. Otis Mathis has proven that one can succeed by simply dreaming and not displaying any effort. For example, you could spend over 10 years in college, as he did, and simply wait for requirements to be changed rather than try to meet them in order to receive your degree (Notice that I didn’t say earn). You could even sue the college you attend in order to have the standards lowered and make your dreams more easily accessible. As long as you are dreaming, no one can fault you for your failure or lack of initiative.

If you cannot perform simple mathematic problems, do not fear. You can still receive a degree in Statistics if you simply dream it true. Likewise, if you are illiterate, it’s really not a problem. Hire someone to read to you, and memorize what he or she reads. If you can’t afford a private reader, you can rely on  illustrations to give you a clear understanding of the text. If you lack the ability to pen proper English, well, that’s not a problem either. Seriously, look at Mr. Mathis. He did not allow his lack of writing skills to stop him from being head of one of America’s lowest-achieving urban school districts. Also, never hesitate to use the failure of the school district as an excuse for your incompetency.

I hope this letter has cleared up some common misconceptions concerning your public education. Remember, it’s not about your potential or improvement; it’s all about your dreams. Students, keep dreaming!

Sincerely,

C.C.

PS: If you are illiterate or unable to read this for any reason, please ask someone to read it to you. Just don’t ask Mr. Mathis.